Friday, September 7, 2007

Who I am!


ok...here it goes.


I'm Melanie, or Mel Mel, or Melikate, or Momma, or even sometimes I'm the bitch!


I am a 28 year old mom. I used to be my own person, but then I became a parent. I use to have time for myself. To get my nails done, cut my hair on a regular basis, get makeup on every morning, go to the gym consistently, read a book every now and then and got to sleep in from time to time. Now I live for them. I might be tired. I might complain. I might get crabby and bitching. But I wouldn't have it any other way. THEY ARE MY LIFE, MY HAPPINESS.
I have an amazing, intelligent, beautiful, attitudish, messy, twelve year old (step)daughter. She is who first made me a momma. I also have an amazing, intelligent, adorable, inquisitive, stubborn two and a little over half year old son. He is who made me complete.


Along with them comes their father. My boyfriend. We met five years ago at, where else, a bar. I was young and stupid and he said the right things. We somehow ended up as a family. I love him but at the same time I want to strangle him. Sometimes I honestly think he is slowly making me go insane. He can push all my buttons and I definitely know how to push his. I question all the time if I want to be with him. If "this" is as good as it's gonna get. I remember early on, I wanted to get married so bad. I couldn't wait to be his wife. Now, it's the farthest thing from my mind or desires. This was not how I pictured my life. I was supposed to be married to a wonderful, loving, caring, passionate man who couldn't live without me, then I was supposed to have kids. Instead, I have two kids, pre-marriage, no ring and no wedding in the near future. I do however have a man who can't live without me. Who would pick up his dirty clothes???? Hehehehe
But, until I get a sign that I have somewhere else to be, I'm sticking it out. These two kids are the most important thing in the world to me. I want our family to work because they deserve it. They are my life.




Initital Entry

I feel like I need to say something ingenious or profound here. I just wish I knew what it was I am supposed to say. LIFE! It’s a riveting thing alright. Do you remember when we were younger? I remember how I thought I knew everything. How I had the best life, the best job, the best friends, the best! I no longer have that life. I don’t have that job, or even those friends. Ironic! Or meant to be?.......I am a firm believer in that known quote, “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.” I mean every person I have ever had the pleasure of having in my life, if even for a short while; contributed to the person I am today, RIGHT??? Then how come the people that meant the most aren’t there any longer? How come the people whose footprints left the deepest imprint don’t seem to give the same thought to the relationship in the past? Is it because maybe, just maybe, the footprints weren’t supposed to be that deep?

What about this quote; “In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.” When I first read this quote, I couldn't believe how perfect it was. I mean, doesn't this just about sum it up?

I'm not really sure what made me decide this was "The Time" to start a blog. Actually I've attempted to start one several times. One time even getting up to about 10 posts before I decided it was not the right time in my life to be writing. It was depressing. I'm not too sure what my main objective will be in this blog. Will I write about my life, my past, my future, my kids, my boyfriend, my aspirations. he possibilities are endless.